Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Help!


Without first checking with my landlord, I recently took the liberty of landscaping my backyard. As you can see, the results have been disastrous. The lagoon is too shallow, the palms are
crooked, the vegetation has fallen off the mountainside.... But I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "That's what he gets for using a cheap contractor." And you're right. I went with the lowest bid. Consequently, I have no one to blame but myself.

At the same time, the situation is intolerable. Something must be done to make my backyard livable again. And that's why I'm asking for help. Your help. The thought has occurred to me that I might be able to barely endure the situation if my backyard were full of scantily clad babes. So, if you're a babe, and you have a charitable streak in you, please ship yourself by overnight mail to Colorado Springs, Colorado. Please.

12 comments:

Guitar's Cry said...

So that's what Colorado looks like, eh?

Rambodoc said...

HAHAHAHA!!
When such babe lands up, let me know. I will then come for the drink you promised me!
:-)

Webs said...

I'll gladly bring some smoked ribs to this party ;-p

Paul said...

Everyone is welcome! Come as you are!

makita said...

Colorado looks a little different than I had imagined. My husband thinks I'm a babe, but then he may just be saying that to keep me happy, so no guarantees. The only other problem of course, is the shipping fees.

stevo said...

Let me check into cargo freight containers. I will ship a bevy of babes, and myself, complete with Chinese takeout, from China.

Enreal said...

This is fun...but I don't think Colorado looks like this...thanks for the invite though

Paul said...

Hi Makita! Bring the whole family! A party is the only way to make such shoddy landscaping livable.

Hi Stevo! How wonderful of you! I feel like my backyard might almost be tolerable if you showed up!

Hi Enreal! Welcome! But we need a poet! Please reconsider and come anyway!

ordinarygirl said...

And I was going to suggest switching backyards with you so that you wouldn't have to endure such shoddiness.

Eryn Leigh said...

I'm not sure I classify as 'Babe', but if nobody else shows up, I'd be happy to be your last resort. It's been my role before. We could even have a pity party if that suits your mood better by the time I get there. *giggles*

Mahendra said...

I never knew backyards could look like this!

With the porch of your blog adorned with beautiful nudes, and your backyard teeming with scantily clad babes, you may one day stop blogging altogether!

Now we don't want that to happen, do we? :-)

Paul said...

Hi Ordinary Girl! Please let's switch backyards. Without babes, a backyard just isn't livable!

Eryn, darling, there is no way in the world I could pity myself if you were here.

Mahendra, you've put your finger on the only known problem with blogging: It just doesn't stack up to entertaining babes!