Monday, August 20, 2007

Why All Morally Sane People Must Blog Nude Today

Alas! Could Aristide Maillol have known when he sculpted his beloved "Flora" that someday the mere sight of her absolutely naked beneath her clingy garment would utterly destroy a child's morals? Would plunge the child into a vast spiritual darkness? And possibly lead to the child's future sexual promiscuity, if not to an unnatural lust for bronze dildos?

That, after all, is exactly what happened less than a year ago when Sydney McGee, a 5th grade Texas art teacher, took 89 of her students to the Dallas Museum of Art where "Flora" was lurking hideously on display. Within hours of the field trip, a parent called the school to complain that her child had been fatally exposed to a nude statue -- most likely "Flora".

Thankfully, the school was quick to take punitive action. The very next day, the school's principle, Nancy Lawson, called Sydney McGee into her office for a well deserved bashing during which Lawson pointedly mentioned McGee's criminal exposure of her students to nude art. Of course, a mere verbal bashing is never enough of a punishment in Texas, home to the death penalty, so within a short time of the bashing, it was announced by the school system that McGee's annual contract would not be renewed and that a replacement for her had been interviewed. Sydney McGee got what she deserved for allowing her 11 year olds to see nudity and near nudity, and that should have been the end of that.

Unfortunately, the story became public. Pesky people, morally sane people, complained in droves. The school did what every reasonable and responsible institution these days will do upon being caught out: They too went public and, of course, smeared Sydney McGee to the hilt in the press, while at the same time admirably backtracking by denying the parent's complaint that her child had been exposed to nude art was a factor in the decision to fire McGee.

If you, Gentle Reader, believe you have detected a certain amount of sarcasm in how I've presented this story, you are right. It is obscene that in the 21st Century a parent's complaint her child had been exposed to nude art could result in a teacher being reprimanded, let alone -- in all probability -- play a role in the teacher being fired. There is only one way to explain it: Moral insanity.

The morally insane among us do indeed believe that nudity is corrupting. They very much believe that. And they are quite often more than willing to impose their insanity on others. That is why a Texas art teacher could be reprimanded for exposing a child to nude art. It is why an Ohio District Attorney could prosecute a grandmother for taking photos of her granddaughters in their underwear. It is why a Colorado woman could sue a pharmacy on the grounds the photos she mistakenly received from the pharmacy of a nude man traumatized her and caused her great mental suffering. Such extraordinarily stupid prosecutions, reprimands and lawsuits are only possible because a significant number of people are morally insane.

But what can we do about it? Well, we can demonstrate to the world that we ourselves are not afraid of nudity. We can show others that we ourselves are not cowering in our homes worried the world will come to an end if Janet Jackson's left nipple appears again on TV. And, most of all, we can prove by our vast numbers that the morally insane among us are only a minority. And how do we do all that?

By publicly declaring our allegiance to the ever growing International Nude Blogging Movement, of course. By blogging in the nude on Mondays, as God and Darwin intended us to do. And by speaking out against the outrages of the morally insane.

Have a great Nude Blogging Day!


C. L. Hanson said...

That's funny, I didn't realize there was a particular day for nude blogging. I'd been kind of doing it at random (the joy of blogging -- you don't have to dress up to do it ;^) ), but I could shoot for Mondays...

Paul said...

Hi C.L.! Any day is nude blogging day if you want it to be. Monday though -- that's the day to show the world the solidarity of the morally sane!

amuirin said...

Well put! People are nuts.

This is totally irrelevant, but it's disconcerting that that awesome statue, with her glorious body and clingy, soaked dress appears to have her hair in such a staid bun. Seems like she'd have wild curls falling all over the place, or at least have some of her hair slipping in rogue tendrils from it's careful arrangement.

Rambodoc said...

Great post, Paul! You have a knack for sarcasm, so use it to the hilt, without issuing disclaimers that act as wet blankets. Cool!

Paul said...

Hi Amuirin! I've noticed you and I have a knack for often thinking alike. When I first saw "Flora" my thought was, "Why is her hair so uptight when nature is so lush, prolific, and wild?" The only thing I can think of is that Maillol wanted to give her a halo. But that seems absurd.

Hi Rambodoc! Thank you so much for your kind words! I'll bear your advice in mind.

Guitar's Cry said...

Horray for Nude Blogging Day!

decrepitoldfool said...

I love the contrast between her semi-nudity and the serene formality of her pose and expression.

Figures this would happen in Texas, where you can buy an assault rifle, but you can't let a child see a beautiful statue.