Café Philos: an internet café

I'm aware that it has been a very long while since I have posted here. It makes me feel guilty to see my name at the side of this page, particularly because I haven't even conversed with Paul in quite a while.

I hate being one of those subtly-stressed floundering career women who always blame everything on not having enough time. I know that I waste a lot of time chain-smoking and petting my cat. So it would be lame of me to try and justify my prolonged absence. I do enough of that when I call in sick (three cheers for mental health days!).

Instead I will kiss all of your virtual feet and beg for your quiet forgiveness.

An incredibly brief synopsis: Migraines not yet subsided, life in splinters, cat box perpetually dirty, can't find ANY of the twenty some-odd spoons I know are in this house somewhere.
And that is the extent of my knowledge regarding my latent realization that I haven't been happy in months.

Enough whining.

After reading Paul's frighteningly visceral post, "Changes", I felt compelled to share a little secret of mine that makes seasons more bearable and beautiful, even if one hates all four of them.

A long time ago I decided to rename the seasons to suit what they actually DO to me. It's obvious that changes in weather aren't gentle in their violent rearrangement of my outlook and substance. In fact, it may have nothing at all to do with the weather, but rather, my life may follow some twisted cycle of phases that lines up perfectly with Mother Nature's, and it's all pure coincidence.

(Thanks go out to my grade twelve sociology teacher for drilling it into my brain that "correlation is not causation", and forcing me to remove all natural assumption from my daily thought process.)

I don't suggest that anyone adopt the same labels for seasons that I have, as they're likely influenced by my own experience, and the fact that I live in Canada. However, I think 'renaming' the seasons to accommodate one's feelings toward them can promote self-awareness. Because really, who actually knows what the heck "summer" means anyway.

These are mine, respectively:

Boring, Rainy, Miserable Days

Arid, Thoughtless Days crammed full of Denial

Sleepy Days when everything smells Pleasantly Dead

Desperate, Freshly Frozen Days

Also, my personal blog, Lipstick Without Borders, has been flagged for objectionable content. *VICTORY DANCE*
Cheers to my no longer being viewed as the Milk and Cookies of the online literary world.

"All loves are different, but all lusts are the same."

- Eryn Leigh

Good Afternoon,
I sit here blushing, as I was previously unaware that I had been mentioned here already. I'm Eryn Leigh, and the new contributer to this beautiful blog. In the spirit of tradition, I'll introduce myself with eight facts. As I believe the world is far too complicated to guess at, I have picked the eight things about myself that would be impossible to guess.

1) I did the majority of my growing up on the highway. I learned how to hitchhike at 13. I raised myself, and didn't do a horrible job at it, either.

2) I choose agnosticism as my label for my belief system, because I don't feel that I have the necessary experience or knowledge required to make statements about life's big questions.

3) I make a point of always wearing flowers in my hair.

4) I cling to a childish pipe-dream of one day being a well known photojournalist. Every so often I have a bit of a life crisis and apply to a half-dozen colleges, but haven't completed that program quite yet.

5) I don't think I am part of even one 'normal' relationship. Everyone I know is connected to me in some intense, chaotic way. It didn't take me very long to figure out that 'normal' and 'healthy' are not the same thing, and shouldn't be confused.

6) I live in Canada. I didn't always, and I expect I will leave when the time is right. For the time being, however, I am comfortable here.

7) I have one beautiful son, Sheridan, who is no longer living. People tell me they don't know how I must deal with the loss of my only child. My answer is always - I don't. When something like that happens, I think it changes people, without their permission, in just enough ways that they find peace with it.

8) Sometimes, I like to write short stories, or take challenging photographs, and staple them to trees and telephone poles, with my email address at the bottom, and see if anyone decides to comment. While I don't get many remarks, I have to say that each and every response I have received has been thought-provoking, at the very least.

Again, I look forward to being a part of this venture, and I hope that someone, somewhere, looks forward to my contribution as well.

This blog will very soon become a joint venture between myself and Eryn Leigh. I'll let Eryn introduce herself, rather than say much about her here, but I think you will be very pleased with her writing and her perspectives. I'm extremely happy she has agreed to join me.