Naturally, I blame the condom commercial. Obviously, the condom commercial skewed the results. After all, it can't be me. I've worked way too hard cleaning up my prose for it to be me. Damn that condom commercial!
The irony here is it took me six tries to figure out what I was doing wrong to get the very simple, user friendly "reading level program" to work -- yet supposedly, I've somehow managed to write at a college level despite that I cannot for the life of me get a very simple, user friendly program to work on the first try.
I'll sue the makers of the condom commercial. That's what I'll do. Yes, I'll sue them.