Monday, November 26, 2007

An Amazingly Bad Movie Review!

It's got to be the worse movie review of the decade to date. If there's one that's worse than it, I don't want to read it for fear my eyeballs will explode.

The review is of Beowulf and here's a sample insight from the review: "Beowulf the movie, based on the epic poem of the same name, is quite probably the most heinous culprit for stealing childhood from children ever made."

The review is done by a professed Christian who actually goes so far as to make up facts about the Bible in order to damn the movie for its nudity. Are you feeling up to full strength this morning? Then you can read the review here. There's also a lively commentary on the review itself here.

Many thanks to DOF for alerting me to this atrocity.


enreal said...

Paul...I have to tell you I saw Beowolf...It was one of the worst movies I ever saw! Except for the fact that me and my friend were hysterical laughing for a good half hour of the movie.(Too bad it wasn't a comedy)...

Rambodoc said...

That line was bad enough, Paul! I will pass!!

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Paul said...

I'm glad for the warning, Enreal. Maybe the only thing worse than the movie was that particular review of the movie!

Hi Rambodoc!

Ed Yong said...

I chuckled hysterically at their list of problems in the movie. Some of the wording is just priceless. I particularly like "unholy demon, many views" which makes Grendel sound opinionated rather than evil, and "using a woman as an exchange medium" which makes what I assume to be prostitution sound like eBay.

In fact, the list reads a lot like "reasons to go see the film".

For perspective, have a look at the website's review of Bee Movie, whose many sins include "self stab with a fork", "camera angle to force viewer to look up a woman's micro skirt" and most un-Godly of all, is guilty of "valuing insect life equal to human life"

Stevo said...

I'm sold.

Because the reviewer hates this film I am inspired to see it.

Paul said...

Hi Ed! After reading your comments, I've begun to think the review should be enshrined somewhere in a "Hall of Fame for Self-Destructing Prose." It's a classic!

Hi Steve! I'm not sure if the movie's any good, but it can't possibly be as bad as the review.