Friday, May 11, 2007

Infidelity: Plans A and B

Perhaps I should begin by stating that I'm not in favor of folks cheating on their partners.

I'm not a chauvinist for monogamy either. But I believe that if you were so incomprehensibly foolish as to freely, and while sober, promise someone that you will remain faithful to them, then you should remain faithful to them. No excuses. You made the promise. Keep it.

That's Plan A.

In life, Plan A doesn't always work, and so most people always try to have a Plan B. Here, then, is Plan B: If you do cheat on your partner, then do so in the most ethical and responsible manner still possible. For instance:

  • Don't bring home any STDs, babies, or psychotic lovers.
  • Don't tell your partner you've cheated unless it's absolutely necessary.
  • Don't tell anyone else you've cheated unless it's absolutely necessary.
  • Put your partner first, ahead of your lover, for attention, gifts, resources and time. Give your lover the left-overs -- not your partner.
  • Don't discuss your partner with your lover.
  • Don't lie to your lover about where they stand with you.
Having seen a number of people cheat on their partners over the years, I've come to the conclusion that most people -- but not all -- are lousy cheaters. Once they start, they go to pieces, behaving much worse than needs be. Then, they wind up confessing everything to their partner and spending 10 years in therapy. And that's just for a drunken one-night stand. It only gets worse if there's more than one infraction.

4 comments:

BrandonE said...

I think there's a flaw in your plans. I think that anyone with the self-awareness and conscientiousness to successfully pull off Plan B also probably has the inner resources to hold fast to their promise from Plan A.

But maybe I'm just a naive Plan A kinda guy...

Elton said...

I'm a Plan A kind of guy. I also believe that marriage is between a man and a woman and a woman and a woman. If such was allowed.

makita said...

I started typing out a reply here, but it turned out so long, that I figured it needed it's own post. Sorry, I didn't really intend to hijack your post Paul. How come I skipped over this post on May 11 anyway? :-)

makita said...

Ok, here are my thoughts on this.